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Monday, 09 April 2012 07:18

Entertainment | Best '90s Cartoons

April 9, 2012

One of the best things to do as a kid was plunking your worry-free behind down in front of the TV and taking in entire buttloads of cartoons.  What the hell else did you have to do, anyway?  “Responsibilities” and “jobs” and “concerns” and “having enough money for food” were for stupid grownups to think about!  Let’s go back to these days and get the “aw! I so remember that!” machine going with a look back at some of the best cartoons from our childhoods.  

Listening to the theme song to Bobby’s World damn near brings a tear to the eye.  Who could forget that cute kid with the ridiculous voice?  Bobby was a tiny bodied huge headed child always jumping on his tricycle and going on adventures in his mind, (which at this age you would have to pay someone to give you a hallucinogen for).  His mother was comedy gold, always punctuating every sentence with “dontcha know” or “fer cryin in the mud!” or “gee golly gosh!” in a heavy Midwestern accent.  We love Bobby!

  

Say it with me – CH CH CH CHIP AND DALE!  Rescue Rangers!  Need we say more?  The most adorably wonderful chipmunks ever imagined.  And that lady mouse Gadget was smarter than all of them combined – although the gadgets she invented sometimes failed, you never saw Chip or Dale steppin' up.  If you’re anything like me you want to sit back watch an entire episode of this and channel your inner 10 year old.  Or if nothing else, you now will have CH- ch-chi-chip n dale! Stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  So…you’re welcome.

 

They were Animaniacs.  And they were zany to the max.  Did you have any idea that freakin Steven Spielberg was behind this thing?  And if you’ll dig way back into your childhood memory bank, Pinky & The Brain first originated on this show!  What!  Those two crazy bastards were plotting world domination eons before Stewie Griffin.  Wakko Yakko and Dot, your shenanigans may be a bit blurry in our memories at our advanced age, but there’s no denying the warm and fuzzies associated with hearing your frenzied theme song.

 

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OK, OK.  So technically Jem ended in the late 80’s but I simply couldn’t ignore the rockstar with the pink hair.  She’s truly, truly, TRULY outrageous!  She had a singing girl group!  She morphed from daytime blonde short hair Jem to nighttime crazy huge hair singing Jem with a touch of her earring!  She had a sexy boyfriend!  There was a rival girl group with equally crazy hair that constantly tried to steal her swag!  Cat fights!  Pink hair!  OUTRAGEOUSNESS!  Sigh.  I wanted to be Jem at one point.  I kinda still want to be Jem now.

 

Rugrats.  The freakin Rugrats.  No list of 90’s cartoons could be considered legit without them.  Just saying the name makes your heart do a happy little somersault.  Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and even that little hellspawn Angelica were just the greatest bunch of “poopetrators” you’ve ever seen.  Check out how fearless little Tommy was, hiking up that diaper and venturing into the… dun dun dun….NEXT YARD, to chase after his ball!  If that’s not determination, I clearly don’t understand the definition of the word.  

Dooo do doo do do do dooo do do do do.  You know what I’m talkin about; I’m talk about DOUG, people!  Doug Funnie was a shy, sensitive guy with a crazy imagination, a superhero alter ego named Quailman (seriously…a Quail?) a kickass little dog, Porkchop, friends like Skeeter whose skin colors ranged from green to pink, and a crush on a girl named Patti with an unfortunate last name.  

 

Ren & Stimpy was completely f$*%d up.  There’s no way around it.  We watched it thinking it was a kid’s show and it really, really wasn’t.  In fact, I kinda think I blame my distaste for Chihuahuas on Ren.  Everything on this show was pretty vile, from the violence, to the gross outs, to the just, insane concepts.  But it was somehow normal then, and by gosh we liked it.  And they DID give us  Happy Happy Joy Joy…  Seriously watch this thing now as an adult…WTF IS THAT ANNOUNCER TALKING ABOUT and WHY is Ren slamming a hammer into his own head??!!...is Stimpy’s butt..exploding?  If you watched this as a child and are a normal, functioning adult right now, go ahead and pat yourself on the back.  

Published in Entertainment